Harry's Nose
by L Ducky
Summary: Harry has a problem with his nose, or is it really his nose? Don't know how I came up with this. Don't own any characters, or settings. I dropped this, but Magic Cheese is continuing it!
1. Allergies

_Allergies. That must be it. _Harry thought. _That has to be why my nose is killing me._ His nose had been itching, running, getting stuffed, making him sneeze, doing anything other than what it normally does, and it was killing him. Plus, he was getting these awful headaches, and whenever he sneezed, his scar hurt.

"Harry, are you okay?" Harry suddenly whipped around, and came almost nose-to-nose with Hermionie's worried face. He looked over to Ron, and saw that he wore the same expression.

"Yea, yeah, I'm fine." He assured them. "Just a cold. Or allergies. Or something."

"You sure?" Hermionie asked. "I mean, this has been going on for a while. Maybe you should see Madam Pomfrey…?"

"Hermionie, he'll see her when if he wants. Stop hounding him about it." Ron said, but he looked a bit regretful at his words when Harry agreed to him.

"Well… if you're sure…"

"Yes, Hermionie, I'm fine." Harry punctuated that with a sneeze. He looked around the common room. There had to be something here that was making him sneeze so bloody much! _Achoo!_

"Either I'm going to kill my nose, or it's going to kill me!" Harry shouted after that last sneeze. He was getting sick of this. _Wait… _he thought _that sounds too familiar. Isn't that what's going to happen with Voldemort and me?_ He had already told Ron and Hermionie about the whole kill-or-be-killed thing, and now half the time, that's what he thought about.

"Harry, what are your symptoms?"

He didn't argue this time. He told her.

"Well, every time I sneeze or blow my nose, my scar hurts. And I have this awful headache this whole time, and my nose is acting anything but normal. It's killing me!"

"I know, Harry, but have you ever thought your nose might be Voldemort in disguise?" Hermionie asked seriously. Ron laughed out loud, and Harry just looked at her in disbelief, then joined Ron in laughing.

"Hermionie, do you _honestly_ think that Harry's nose is Voldemort? I mean… honestly." Ron asked in between fits of laughter.

"Really. Are you two going to act your age so I can explain this to you or not?"

**A/N:** Worth continuing? Or no? Help me out, por favor!


	2. Voldy

**A/N:** Thanks to all my reviewers! Sorry this is so short, but there's more to come!

**Generally Maz:** Hahaha… not what I had planned, but I might use it somewhere!

**Marvinlebt42:** I have no clue… it just popped into my head while I was blowing my nose.

**Argella:** For the sake of humor… I am continuing!

"Really. Are you two going to act your age so I can explain this to you or not?"

"Maybe. Maybe not."

"Apparently not."

"Shut up, Ron. Go on, Hermione."

"Okay, so remember when we learned about Animagi?"

"No, I don't," Ron said sarcastically. "Only, my rat was one, not to mention Sirius."

"Ron, tell me," Hermione said in an overly patient voice. "Do you ever shut up?"

"I don't think so." Harry said to Hermione, aside.

"I heard that!"

"Hermione, just continue." Harry was getting tired of the bickering, plus, his constant headache was not getting any better.

"Back to the point. So, you remember Animagi, and do you remember the Polyjuice Potion?"

Both boys nodded their heads.

"Well, I was doing some background reading on it, you know, just for fun -"

"Erm, fun? Studying random potions is what you call _fun_?" Hermione decided it best for her friend if she ignored him for the time being.

"- when I saw that if you combine the two in the correct way, you can shape shift into a part of another person, or into that person entirely if you want."

"So… good ol' Voldy used my blood in a Polyjuice Potion, so he could kill me through my nose?" Harry's confused look was interrupted by a sneeze, and a cruelly familiar voice.

"Don't call me Voldy," said Harry's nose.


	3. Polyjuice Wand

**A/N:** Yay! More reviews! Does a happy dance

**Generally Maz:** Teeheehee… I'm using your idea here. Hope you don't mind. BTW: Gloomp is an interesting word…

**HPFan321:** Yea, I know. The series is getting a bit dreary, don't you think? And, didn't Molly Weasly say that in the fourth book, when Ron said he'd go to the ball naked because he didn't have good dress robes? OK, I'm a freak, but we all knew that, right?

**Neurtrina:** Thanks, I will:P

Don't own them, blah, blah, blah.

8888

Everyone stared at Harry's nose. Well, Ron and Hermione did, but it was a bit difficult for Harry, because he had to go cross-eyed.

_It's a nice change, though_, thought Harry's scar, _from everyone staring at me_.

_I didn't know scars could think,_ thought Harry.

_Of course we can't,_ the scar 'said' smartly, then shut up, leaving Harry rather bewildered.

"Harry…" Ron began hesitantly. "Did you nose just… talk?"

"Ask me yourself, Weasly," The nose snarled.

"Uhh… ok, er.. Harry's Nose, did you just talk?"

Harry sneezed, and the nose said, "I happen to have a name. I am not merely Harry's Nose, I am Lord Voldemort!" Ron flinched at the name.

"OK, um, _Voldemort_," Hermione continued where Ron had left off. "I think we've established that you can talk. Now, would you mind getting out of Harry's nose? I'm sure it's not to comfortable…"

"It's not. I got here by accident."

All three students were confused.

Harry spoke first. "Accident? You've been killing me by _accident_?"

"Well, I wasn't killing you by accident. I am in your nose by accident. I was trying to use a polyjuice potion to become you, when I got my wand stuck in my nose as I was transforming. Do, I became your nose, rather than you. And I joined with the real you, because a nose cannot walk around on it's own." His only response to this little speech was three fits of laughter; Harry's, Ron's and Hermionie's. Voldemort/ Harry's nose sneezed indignantly. "This is not funny!" That just made them laugh even harder.

**TBC…**


	4. Not Again!

**A/N: **Yipee! People like my story! (more happy dances)

**Generally Maz:** Ugh… I'm sorry. Feel better. I have allergies myself, and it's like having a year-round cold. Annoying. Thank you for the "large mini roll made outta wand sculptures". It's much appreciated.

**Neutrina: **I'm glad you find my story funny. I try.

**Marvinlebt42:** Again, I'm glad you find my story funny. I try.

Sorry it's so short, but I have a bit of writer's block, here.

**8888**

"There's still one question." Harry stated.

"What, now?" An exasperated nose is not a pleasant feeling; Harry can say that from experience. Your nose gets all heavy, and you want to sneeze, but your nose is too tired to.

"How do I get you out of my nose?"

"Uhh… you don't."

"And why not?"

"I like it in here." Everyone under the age of 20 looked at each other. They were all confused.

"You… like it in Harry's nose…" Ron voiced what the rest of them were thinking.

"Yes. It's really quite comfortable, and a good way to make sure he doesn't kill me. I'll kill him instead." Three gasps, and Hermione lunged at Harry's nose. Next thing he knew, Voldemort had a long piece of wood up his left nostril.

"Not again!"


	5. The Left Nostril

**A/N:** Sorry, this story kind of got put on hold, and yielded to my other one. But, now this one's back up, so enjoy!

**Rory:** I'm sorry. I hope you got cleared up by now! Umm… I really hope you don't mind if I don't use your stove idea, but I might use the apple idea, thanks!

**Swanpride:** Umm… what's Tristram Shandy? Is this good or bad?

**Salazara:** Thank you! I like your name. 

**8-8-8-8-8-8**

It was suddenly very dark. Harry could smell wood, polished and close up. The tried opening his eyes, but found that they already were open; it was just too dark to see. He tried looking down. He could see two little stumpy legs beneath him, complete with feet, and they were standing on – what else? – hard, polished, wood. He was very close to it.

"Where am I?" He voiced aloud.

"Inside you own nose, Potter." He heard Voldemort's snaky voice some from somewhere to his right. "The left nostril to be exact."

"Then how come I have feet?"

"_We_ have feet," Volemort corrected, "I'm in the right nostril." Harry wished he could scream. He was suddenly flying through the air, and something had pinched him at what would have been his head. Now, he guessed it was the bridge of his nose. He heard Hermione's worried voice cry out,

"Harry, are you okay… ooh… I really didn't mean to Harry, I'm so sorry."

Then Ron's voice, "Harry, Harry, Hemione's just gone to her dormitory, probably to get a book or something, but don't panic, she'll figure a way to get you out. If anyone can, it's her." Despite Ron's assurances, Harry was still worried.

Hermione came back soon thereafter, absolutely frantic.

"Nothing! Nothing on anything like this, getting sucked into your own nose, arm, leg, eye, nothing!"

"So… we're going to have to make up a spell or potion or something?"

"No, Ron, don't you ever listen to your dad? We could get in serious trouble if we did that," She paused, and thought for a minute. "We're going to see Dumbledore."


	6. Acid Pops

**A/N:** Should I add a pairing? Or no? I dunno…. Tell me in a review if I should add a pairing, and some suggestions, please. I won't object to much, only generation gaps and "twinsest". What I mean by generation gaps is like teacher-student. Year gaps are fine, like DracoGinny or something.

**Swanpride:** OK, thanks for clearing that up for me.

**Generally Maz:** It's quite alright, I deserved it for not updating soon enough. Nope, no magic hanky, that'd be too simple!

**8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8**

They arrived at the gargoyle, but realized that they didn't know the password.

"Umm… Chocolate Frogs?" Ron asked hopefully

The gargoyle didn't budge.

"Cauldron Cakes?"

"Pumpkin Pasties?"

"Fizzing Whizbies?"

"Cockroach Cluster?"

"Acid Pops?"

The gargoyle finally sprang to life and moved aside for them to hop onto the moving stairs.

"He likes those things?" Ron asked, astonished.

"Apparently so…"

They had arrived at his office door. Hermione knocked.

"Enter"

Ron walked in first, taking in everything from the phoenix in one corner to the flying apples in the other. The apples were emitting strange "pity me" noises, as if they were trapped and crying. _The poor apples,_ Hermione thought. _ We have to save them once we are done getting Harry out of his nose._ She barely had time register how weird that would sound in the Muggle world when Dumbledore said,

"I see you two are here, but why are you accompanied by a nose?"

"This is not just a nose, professor. It's Harry and Lord Voldemort stuck inside Harry's nose."

"Well, this is amusing."

"No it's not!" Harry's now-nasal voice shrieked from the left nostril. "I don't like being caught inside my own nose, thank-you-very-much!"

"Why, you're welcome, Harry, but, may I ask how you got there?"

"Well, it's a long story."

"I've got all night. Do tell."

So, Harry told him, with some interruptions from Ron and Hermione.

"Ah. I see. Well, we'll have to get you out of there, now won't we?"

"Well, yes, you see, but I have no idea how."

Hermione spoke up. "And that's why we came to you, professor."

"I see."

"So… can you help us?"

"Well, there is an egg-sorcist type of thing I can do, but it's risky."

"Egg-srocist?"

"Yes, we use eggs."


	7. Luna

**Wow, I haven't updated in… over a year I think. But that's over now. I am adding a chapter to most of my stories now, this one being the first. Now, on with the eggs!**

**BTW: No personal notes this time around. Next time, though!**

-8-8-8-8-

"Eggs." Repeated Hermione.

"Yes. Eggs. The while, rather large and ovuleish things that usually come out of chickens." Dumbledore explained.

"Yes, yes, I know what they are. I have just never seen them used in a… what was it you called it?"

"An egg-srocist?"

"Yes, that. I have never seen that in _any_ library book, spell book, text book, or any book at all!" She protested.

"My dear miss Granger, you cannot possibly think you can learn everything from mere books! You need experience, as well, and face-to-face encounters." Hermione looked aghast at this startling piece of information.

"Now, it just so happens," Dumbledore continued, "That I have a friend who would willingly perform such a spell to get Harry out of his nose, but I cannot be sure about Voldemort."

"Anything!" Shouted a desperate Harry. "I wont to get out of my nose, please, sir!"

"In that case, miss Lovegood, please enter." Luna Lovegood came into the room, took one look at the nose, and told Dumbledore, "I will need three eggs for this. And a volenteer."

"Ronald, will you please assist miss Lovegood?"

**Woah, okay, I have no clue where this is going, but using Luna was rather appropriate, don't you think? I mean, who else would use eggs?**


	8. Magic cheese

The author gathered all of the characters in this story so far to her office for a short meeting.

"Everybody, I am sorry to say that I dropped this story."

There were multiple protests from all the characters, including Hermione threatening to hex the author.

"Don't hex me! I was about to give you the good news. There's another author who liked you guys so much that they are going to continue it."

"Who is it?"

"Her name is magic cheese." Dumbledore said calmly.

"How did you know that?" the author asked. Dumbledore gave a half-hearted shrug and a smile, as if to say _I'm Dumbledore, what do you expect?_

**And there you have it. I have dropped it and am handing it over to magic cheese. Look for her chapters to see the rest of the story. Thank you, and I'm sorry. I just had no clue what to do, and the spark is gone.**


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